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Scary-Ass Shit

:: Tuesday, April 12th, 2005 @ 9:00:14 pm

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this thing watched me sleep, all night

I woke up this morning to find something on the sliding door. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the thing was THREE-AND-A-HALF INCHES IN DIAMETER and had EIGHT EYES, TWO HUGE FANGS/INCISORS, and SPIKES ON ITS LEGS; clearly, it was one of the scariest fucking things I had ever seen.

Naturally, I caught the thing and hid it in the closet so that the cleaning lady wouldn’t prematurely dispose of it or die of a heart attack or something.

I related the story to the others while on the dive boat, and Natalie (a visiting dive instructor from Montreal) informed me that she had captured a scorpion in her room just the other day. I quickly hatched a plan to make them fight, but… well, it didn’t happen. I can assure you that there would have been a scary-ass critter duel to the death if Kenny had more vacation time and had been with me on the trip. Damn him! Instead, I just took some photos before tossing it into a bush.

| Rangiroa, French Polynesia | link | trackback | Apr 12, 2005 21:00:14
  • jim

    shudder
    now i’m all itchy.

  • Dave P

    Hmmm, I bet with a light tempura-style batter it would fry up nicely. Dipped in a light lime/soy/ginger sauce…yum!

  • http://www.tjinh200.com/tjinh200 Tyler

    that’s gross :P i’m still so impressed with your underwater shark pictures, and envious too ^^

  • http://www.elliotsather.com Elliot

    I think it is Shelob. You’re lucky you were not cocooned in your sleep.

  • http://www.dpiwe.tas.gov.au/inter.nsf/Attachments/SJON-52P4XB/$FILE/tasde.aiff Mer

    Nooooooooo.

  • http://www.aaronlogan.com Aaron

    Looks like you’ve found the one, Eric.

  • syndromes

    Hahahaha Aaaron

  • lauretta

    Aaron – FUNNY !! New caption for Eric:
    “Arach-No-Romance in Paradise Complete”.

  • Guest

    Come on, man. You swim around with tiger sharks and then you’re scared of a spider?! :)

  • http://www.wakinghour.net annalise

    yikes! that’s such a sickening creature!

  • http://carlosrull.com randomguru

    man, dude! that is one scary creature you shared a room with! eek ;o)

  • andrew

    what happened that prevented the scorpion-tarantula(?) fight?

  • http://tontamoo.weblogs.us Janice

    I forget that that picture might still be on the front page of your journal sometimes. So, I forget hold my hand in front of the screen while loading your page. (Pathetic huh?) Scares me half to death. Write something lengthy so it no longer graces the front page. Haha.

  • Joanna

    That is scary.At least you are not watched by a Tiger shark at night while sleeping.The thought of that rather large spider crawling on you while you are sleeping…..ewww

  • Edwin

    This is some fucked up shit…it makes you wonder why the hell thing’s like this even exist in this world.

  • Susan

    Ewwwwwwwwww:( thats freaky!!!!!!! but on the other hand it is kinda cool. But it would have scared the SHIT out of me!!!chills

  • http://None Alex Gentry

    I HATE Spiders

  • http://echeng.com echeng

    You know, the only reason this is the most popular post in ALL of my journal entries is because it has the words “ass” and “shit” in it. Oh, and there’s an f-bomb in there as well.

    You guys are sick! :)

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  • Michele
  • http://echeng.com echeng

    Michele – nice! that happened at Vienna’s place once. She had something we re-hyphenated as “ass-lotion.” :)

  • http://www.myspace.com/ashleymusicandcomedy ashley lenartson

    great pix of a scarry spider. it is scarry. I wouldn’t want it around me.

  • pablito

    Spent two weeks at a meditation retreat some years back. One night there was an enormous scary spider sitting in the ceiling over my straw sleeping mat. Normally I woulda run outta there screaming, but with the meditation thing going full on, in my zen state, it was all good and beautiful, like me and the spider were best friends, him helping me out by catching the huge insects and lizards running about the li´l bamboo hut I was staying in. Took plenty pictures of it, said good night to it, went to sleep. :)

  • http://ECheng.com Devan

    there’s an old saying tht the average person eats at least 3 to 4 spiders while they are asleep i hope this big ol’ thing aint the one uhhhh…

  • Rameeza

    omg wat old saying says that we eat 3-4 spiders while we sleep????? im gonna put sellotape over my mouth wen i sleep from now on!!!!!!!! im really arachnaphobic!!! i was in a huge car accident a few years back. i looked at through my CLOSED (THANK GOD)window and saw this huge hairy monster with 8 evil hungry eyes looking at me and it resulted in me crashing da car and hurting my passenger and i!!!!!!! i couldnt even watch da part where spiderman gets bitten by dat spider it was too scary!!!! and it sux that i live in South Africa, i think it a spiders paradise and us poor humans hell on earth!!

  • Lesha41

    that thing made me squeal :O

  • LOVEY

    The way you were able to get that close to that fucking spider OMG!!! next time it should come with a waning

  • Brittanie Eskew

    why didnt you kill it dumbass !!! instead of putting it in a closet where it can get out and kill you mother fucking dumbass!!!! dont cry to us when u die of a spider bite!! like you said look at his fanggssss!!!!!!

  • Em0Bitch</3

    A damn spider??!!! Really man grow ur self a set of balls!

  • Em0Bitch</3

    Balls grow some balls in between ur legs and kill the fucking thing either that or wake up dead, I hope unicorns bite ur face off

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