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Weakness, frantically

:: Wednesday, October 6th, 2004 @ 4:02:28 pm

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I’ve been having a tough time lately. It’s mild, as most of my emotions usually are, but it’s there.

Aside from the craziness of server crashes and unpacking and arranging to sell the old place and buying crap that will probably turn out to be unnecessary (for the new place), I have a presentation to give to the Northern California Underwater Photographic Society on Friday, followed by a few mini-seminars in Houston next week (which also involves being in Houston next week). I haven’t started thinking about any of them, but I probably should.

Thankfully, Livia is around, and I can always rely on her to meet up for a quick meal if I need to get out of the house. Time with her is very easy — I don’t have use up any real energy, and I get to hang out with someone cool. Normally, my sister and Vienna (two more people with non-standard work hours) help me to take my mind off of work as well, but Wendy moved away and Vienna is off on tour again. Vienna still managing to be supportive from wherever-she-is-between-California-and-New-York, though, and I appreciate that a lot. :)

Also nice is that I’ve been patronizing the arts again, with trips to see the SF Symphony play Mahler 9, Phillipe Quint perform in Palo Alto, and hopefully (tonight), a jazz cabaret featuring Stephen Prutsman (who keeps asking me if I have “any babes” when I see him). I even picked up the cello for a bit today, which was long overdue. Music is good.

And now, about girls: I don’t know if it’s because it’s been so long since I’ve had a girlfriend, or if it’s because this is the first time I’ve had a couple of weeks at “home” in ages, of if it’s because I actually have a home again, but I’m starting to get a little lonely! But when I think about dating, I imagine being out of town, I think about the lack of the utter freedom I’ve been indulging in, and I think about the … complications that my travel schedule might inflict upon a relationship. However, I know that the right person will dispel all of my worries, so I’ll just have to continue to cling to a sliver of relationship hope while letting my life unfold as I’ve been doing for the past few years.

I should probably re-read what I’ve written to see if I’m being coherent, but I have to get some images submitted to Pictopia. :)

| Oakland, CA | link | trackback | Oct 6, 2004 16:02:28
  • syndromes

    Don’t know what to say without sounding like a pity party, but I hope you feel better and find what you’re looking for :)

  • echeng

    thanks, syndromes. i feel better now that i’ve written out my thoughts. :) AND, I finally have music in my place, so it’s no longer just the hum of machinery that accompanies me here…

  • syndromes

    Hey man, I just noticed that if I add your rss feed to my news grabber (currently thunderbird), it seems to bypass the password authentication and I can read the post as if i’d logged into the website :/

    Dunno if you care or not but thought i’d relay that to ya. Feel free to nuke this comment :)

  • jim

    It’s the season, or something. I’ve been all negative chaos lately. I’d kill for just one afternoon without being faced with some kind of deadline.

    And yeah, what syndromes said. Hang in there. :)

  • Fred

    Last weekend I wrote a post about the pathological habit the world has of parading marvelous women before me and then snatching them away — either literally or because i find out they’re already taken. This happened again recently, so I was very bitter. Those who are available and/or interested, are uninteresting to me. I didn’t post the post. But anyway, I feel your pain. It would be damn nice to have a girl, but my standards are what they are, and other things in life take priority, anyway.

    Maybe “snatching” isn’t the best choice of word, here. Hm.

  • echeng

    i just discovered Alameda. the reason I was in Alameda was that I was shopping at Albertsons for things like yogurt, meat, bread, cereal, soy milk, and other things to help keep me alive while I’m home. shopping alone for stuff like that is really depressing — and it was weird, too — the first time i’ve had to buy real (“real” for a single guy) groceries in more than a year!

  • http://www.guppieluv.com/ andrey

    don’t fret, eric. like they say, all it takes is one perfect person. have patience, she will find you.

  • syndromes

    Ain’t that the truth Audrey.

    Love seems to have a funny way of making you forget the (often lonely) past ;)

  • syndromes

    Bloody hell, I called you Audrey instead of Andrey – sorry bout that maam!

  • http://markus.nolf.org jumpin

    well, if you won’t find your true love, who will?

  • Chester

    The alternative could be much worse: you could be a single male in San Jose.

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