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Another notch in the category

:: Monday, August 9th, 2004 @ 8:41:30 pm

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Vienna told me the other day that she clicked on the “Thoughtful” category and there were only a few entries. (Actually, there are 29, but that’s not so many. :)

So I had some thoughts while sitting here at the airport. I’m travelling for about 50 hours in order to get to my destination, and most of that time will be spent in silence, thinking. For me, silence and thinking can often be correlated with mild depression and doubt, but it’s healthy for me because most of the time I’m too busy to think.

After Clara mentioned Paulo Coelho the other day, I stole The Alchemist from Elliot’s bookshelf on my way out of the house. I read about half of it on the flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and it’s proving to be a great book for my current state of being (I suspect that perhaps everyone relates to it in some way, which is why it has sold so many copies worldwide.).

I, too, am amazed at the sequence of events that has led me to what I “do” now (whatever that is), and although I occasionally feel mild regret over various decisions I’ve made during the past five years, I rarely look back upon them with such regret that it clouds the ability to think about today and tomorrow. I’ve been pretty content, having juxtaposed the unknown of the long-term with firm commitment(s) in the relatively short term. Typically, I think for a bit, make a decision, and follow through. I’ve been over this before, but it’s been really liberating to be impulsive. I’m doing what I’m doing now because I have no real commitments, but that doesn’t means that I’m unwilling to make them. But I’m definitely not just waiting around for a commitment of some sort to happen. In the meantime, I’d rather put myself in the position of having as many experiences as possible.

And then, there’s this nagging fear that I may be conditioning myself to need adrenaline or new experiences in order to be happy, but that’s another problem. ;).

| LAX, Los Angeles | link | trackback | Aug 9, 2004 20:41:30
  • syndromes

    I know you get this all the time, and maybe don’t see what the big deal is, but you are a rare rare person, at least in my world. Most of my friends (myself included) are so paralyzed by the what-ifs that we sit in stagnation rather than getting out there and LIVING.

    Toiling in the unknown is often more scary than the languishing in the familiar, but rarely if ever is it anywhere near as rewarding.

    So whether you like it or not, you’re an inspiration to me :P I mean, you’ve got one helluva big lense there Mr. Cheng ;)

  • http://www.andybiggs.com andy

    definitely take advantage of the freedom while it lasts. Once you get married, that lone commitment changes your ability to make decisions on a whim.

  • michael (atlanta)

    Interesting, eric. You’re able to do a pretty decent self-analysis, so I’d say overall you’re pretty healthy. I’d be curious about what you would feel mild regret over, but that’s a coversation that shouldn’t take place online. From where I sit, all you’ve done is burn two or three times the energy most of the rest of us burn, which some would describe as “living life to the fullest”. And consider this: there are great advantages to all the online exposure and global roaming you do–the odds of finding the right one are greatly enhanced. She’s out there. Chances are you’ll hook up. Just be ready when it happens. As for all those folks who insist on making you their “role model” or “idol”, forget ‘em. You didn’t ask for the job. Feel no pressure. Just keep living.

  • http://www.alexking.org/ Alex

    It’s amazing what one can do if one has the guts to try. :)

  • http://5-dots.blogspot.com Mari

    I also read “The Alchemist” last year, during the time that I was applying for my hopeful acceptance to Emily Carr, and found it to be a thin but in-depth read. The pages hold many quotes that are so simple, yet make you reflect on your own life that it’s one of those reads that you could pull up repetitively and still find it worth reading. Have you read any of his other books? I just recently received as a bon voyage gift, “By the River Piedra I Sat & Wept” by the same authour. I am halfway through, and also find it to be an enjoyable read that plays upon the themes of love, relationships and overall life circumstance. Something everyone can definitely relate to.

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