The grass is always greener. If someone were to ask me what Eric Cheng does, I’d say “Ahellofalottathings–he’s one of those multi-multi-talented types,” whereas my response to the same question about myself is “nothing,” even though by being in school, I am definitely supposed to be doing “something.” I think no matter what “tunnel” one is sliding through, the light at the end of that tunnel is always a bit blurry–sometimes that light seems to get a little unsharp mask from some temporary revelation, but inevitably the blur returns. I think the carpe diem type relaxation you yearn for is something that everyone wants, but many don’t allow themselve to find, because somehow it feels “wrong.” Anyhow, I’m sure many of us echeng groupies can identify with what you’re saying, perhaps even those who you wouldn’t expect to have the same sentiments.

When someone asks what you do, try this on for size:

“Mostly I try to keep up with the demands of all my adoring fans.”

;)

i know the feeling, and have been pondering this for a good while now too. i think it may feel wrong to be seemingly drifting around doing this and that without some sorta definite label (“I am a [doctor / engineer / fill in the blank]“) bc of society / upbringing. i think most ppl who read your blog (me included) envy your carefree-ness and apparent ability to both pay the bills and have a blast while doing it. maybe it’s internal envy and jealousy that makes ppl outwardly say they look down upon this sorta lifestyle?

at any rate, so far my motto in life has been, “i don’t wanna grow up, i’m a toys ‘r us kid.” :) i’ve found that i’m happiest when i’m savoring the present moment and the things i’m doing and the people i’m with and not worrying about the past / future. it’s hard when responsibilities get stepped up i suppose, and i guess that’s when one must grow up.

maybe i’m drawn to working with kids to some extent cuz of my need to be like them.

yeah. I get a lot of people who think that I just roam around on “vacation” all the time, but the sheer number of assumptions necessary to arrive at a conclusion like that pisses me off. Maybe that’s part of the reason that i like to tell people that I do “nothing.”

Or, more specifically, I tell people that I’m a software engineer. And then they assume that I’m in my cube all the time and stop asking questions. If they follow up, I say, “oh, yeah, I do free-lance contracting. you know, little jobs here and there.”

Vagueities. Gotta love ‘em. :)

your answer :)
I live, and I live well.

t